Welcome to
The Pair Bond.

My name is Yaj. I help people with their relationships.

Since 2001, I have facilitated growth in people’s relationships and lives. Formerly an LMFT in New York for 17 years, I now live in California, with an online private practice as a Relationship Coach. My work guides clients with evidence-based methods that create healing connection.

My main theoretical orientations are: Attachment Theory (John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth), Sue Johnson’s Emotionally Focused approach, Family Systems, Internal Family Systems (Richard Schwartz), John Gottman’s research-based methods, and I’m certified in Harville Hendrix and Helen la Kelly Hunt’s Imago Relationship work.

This foundation offers a superbly reliable lens and path for couples and individuals with relational challenges.

I would love the opportunity to be of help to you in your situation.

Online sessions available worldwide.

If a person’s connection with significant others is not part of the coping and healing process, then, inevitably, it becomes part of the problem and even a source of re-traumatization.

– Susan Johnson


We feel our deepest joy and warmest fulfillment in moments of connection. However, our experience in relationships also involves some of the most difficult emotions we’ve ever had. In our modern world, there is a quiet epidemic happening behind closed doors and social masks – private suffering in relationship

Graphic of a couple conflict

Many couples suffer from chronic negativity and emotional distance.

The struggle is real – patterns of painful interactions lead to chronic stress and tension. Partners find themselves distant, easily triggered, and shut down to each other. They don’t know how to fix the negativity and they’ve lost hope trying.

If this resonates, please know that you are not alone. I help people who are struggling with these kinds of relationship problems.


There is a way to heal the re-wounding cycle. There are effective, evidence-backed approaches and tools that are helping couples and individuals re-connect with themselves and each other, and to have healthy, fulfilling relationships


My services

My work focuses on the attachment relationship between two people. We address the emotions, longings, and unmet needs, repair the pattern of breakdowns and disconnect, decrease insecurities and fortify a secure bond.

Discover and experience:

The pair bond logo

Effective communication

The pair bond logo

Successful conflict resolution

The pair bond logo

Closeness, intimacy

The pair bond logo

More ease with each other

The pair bond logo

Emotional security in the relationship

The pair bond logo

Positive feelings in the bond

My Clients

Couples who reach out to me for assistance cover a wide range – married, domestic partners, straight, LGBTQIA+, dating – and in all stages of relationship development, including contemplating or in the process of separation, divorce, and navigating co-parenting.

Sometimes my clients are family members whose relationship is causing distress. It is often very sensitive and challenging to address problematic dynamics with family relationships. This work can be a richly rewarding gift to give to yourselves and each other.

Work with individuals addresses relational struggles – partner, family, work, social – and also the creation of a clearer connection with one’s self.

“Attachment to key others is our primary protection against feelings of helplessness and meaninglessness.”

- Alexander MacFarlane, Bessel Van der Kolk

“Conflict is healing trying to happen.”

- Harville Hendrix


Couple and Individual Coaching

Quality Help is Available

older couple sitting on a couch

Couple Coaching

Private sessions with couples offer a safe place to be heard and seen about your specific challenges and struggles. Partners get relief from the negative interactive cycles, and heal the past. The relationship receives the caring and skilled help it needs to heal and thrive.

  • Discover what's happening underneath conflict and negativity
  • Heal past ruptures and wounds
  • Experience an essential shift out of the negative pattern
  • Learn effective communication
  • Gain safety and closeness that is sustainable

My couple sessions are 75 minutes online with video. 90 minute sessions available upon request.

Two people separated

Individual Coaching

Private individual work is an opportunity to address relational issues and struggles with others - and with the self - in a uniquely safe and deep way.

The process of making change happens at your pace with my support for your learning and growing. We explore and address your goals around negative emotional and interactional patterns with others, issues with personal, professional and family relations, and your relationship with your self.

  • Identify negative relational patterns
  • Gain new communication tools, discover self-connection
  • Set boundaries
  • Bring healing to old places
  • Create change you've longed for

My individual sessions are 60 or 75 minutes online with video.

Contact me

Free Consultation

If you are ready to take the next step, please contact me via email and tell me a bit about your situation. You can also text me directly at the number below. We’ll schedule a time for a free telephone consultation to explore the possibility of working together.

Ready to get started?

free pair bond book

Free eBook on Emotional Reactivity

Sign up to receive.