The Pair Bond.
My name is Yaj. I help people with their relationships.
Since 2001, I have facilitated growth in people’s relationships and lives. Formerly an LMFT in New York for 17 years, I now live in California, with an online private practice as a Relationship Coach. My work guides clients with evidence-based methods that create healing connection.
My main theoretical orientations are: Attachment Theory (John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth), Sue Johnson’s Emotionally Focused approach, Family Systems, Internal Family Systems (Richard Schwartz), John Gottman’s research-based methods, and I’m certified in Harville Hendrix and Helen la Kelly Hunt’s Imago Relationship work.
This foundation offers a superbly reliable lens and path for couples and individuals with relational challenges.
I would love the opportunity to be of help to you in your situation.
Online sessions available worldwide.
If a person’s connection with significant others is not part of the coping and healing process, then, inevitably, it becomes part of the problem and even a source of re-traumatization.
– Susan Johnson
We feel our deepest joy and warmest fulfillment in moments of connection. However, our experience in relationships also involves some of the most difficult emotions we’ve ever had. In our modern world, there is a quiet epidemic happening behind closed doors and social masks – private suffering in relationship
Many couples suffer from chronic negativity and emotional distance.
The struggle is real – patterns of painful interactions lead to chronic stress and tension. Partners find themselves distant, easily triggered, and shut down to each other. They don’t know how to fix the negativity and they’ve lost hope trying.
If this resonates, please know that you are not alone. I help people who are struggling with these kinds of relationship problems.
There is a way to heal the re-wounding cycle. There are effective, evidence-backed approaches and tools that are helping couples and individuals re-connect with themselves and each other, and to have healthy, fulfilling relationships
My work focuses on the attachment relationship between two people. We address the emotions, longings, and unmet needs, repair the pattern of breakdowns and disconnect, decrease insecurities and fortify a secure bond.
Discover and experience:
Successful conflict resolution
More ease with each other
Emotional security in the relationship
Positive feelings in the bond
Couples who reach out to me for assistance cover a wide range – married, domestic partners, straight, LGBTQIA+, dating – and in all stages of relationship development, including contemplating or in the process of separation, divorce, and navigating co-parenting.
Sometimes my clients are family members whose relationship is causing distress. It is often very sensitive and challenging to address problematic dynamics with family relationships. This work can be a richly rewarding gift to give to yourselves and each other.
Work with individuals addresses relational struggles – partner, family, work, social – and also the creation of a clearer connection with one’s self.
“Attachment to key others is our primary protection against feelings of helplessness and meaninglessness.”
- Alexander MacFarlane, Bessel Van der Kolk
“Conflict is healing trying to happen.”
- Harville Hendrix
During our sessions, Yaj checks in to see how it's going for us, which allows us to be comfortable and open to exploring our emotions. This work guides us into self inquiry and is a continual road of discovery. We are learning new skills to handle conflict and disagreement. Yaj helps us open up about our differences and helps connect us to our “us” ness. She has helped us through some dark clouds. It wasn’t easy but with her clear perception and guidance we have been able to get to a deeper understanding of each other. We look forward to continual discovery in our wonderful work with Yaj.
We are seeing lots of benefits from the tools you are sharing with us. Just two sessions and I can see a positive shift. We had a good dialogue the other day and it has made me realize I am doing things that don’t bring a peaceful solution existence. I am now in a zone where I see something and I know I need practice to break my habits.
You’ve been awesome teaching, coaching, modeling, listening, being objective and supportive.
We get along a lot better now. I feel better now. To be able to move forward from that is great. It really is a relief.
It’s been life-changing for my husband. It’s amazing how different he is now. He doesn’t get bent out of shape anymore. He doesn't go there and I'm finding it easier to not say the things that used to make him go there. It makes it much more pleasant.
I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
The work can be even more satisfying by being in touch with our leadership style. This is very empowering. When women have high incomes, they tend to dissociate from their money. They feel not worthy. Guilty. “I couldn’t possibly be that good.” We need to be grounded in our worth about money, and engage in the process of trying on and claiming our personal leadership cloak, and wear it with confidence.
Yaj is excellent at guiding me to do just that. I learn something in every session. I take notes and use what I learn in real time at work.
I’ve learned more about myself in the last 12 weeks than I have in the 50 years of my life.
I am a busy mom, entrepreneur and artist, and the flexibility of our phone sessions allowed me to receive the self-care I require and were just as effective for me as in-person sessions.
She offers not only practical solutions and clear steps for taking action, but will help guide you to know your own truth and inner guide. Highly recommended!
I decided to marry myself and let go of the “Prince Charming coming to save me” story I had carried for so long. Of course, Yaj was the one I wanted to perform the ceremony! Her training in ritual and deep knowing of the path to self, combined with my desire for true relationship, co-created a turning point in my life.
I now have physical reminders, photographs, and an emotional reference from the ceremony to solidify this deepened, dedicated relationship with myself. That is forever! It was sacred and beautiful. Thank you, Yaj. You are truly a master who has helped me see my own path.
Couple and Individual Coaching
Quality Help is Available
Private sessions with couples offer a safe place to be heard and seen about your specific challenges and struggles. Partners get relief from the negative interactive cycles, and heal the past. The relationship receives the caring and skilled help it needs to heal and thrive.
- Discover what's happening underneath conflict and negativity
- Heal past ruptures and wounds
- Experience an essential shift out of the negative pattern
- Learn effective communication
- Gain safety and closeness that is sustainable
My couple sessions are 75 minutes online with video. 90 minute sessions available upon request.
Private individual work is an opportunity to address relational issues and struggles with others - and with the self - in a uniquely safe and deep way.
The process of making change happens at your pace with my support for your learning and growing. We explore and address your goals around negative emotional and interactional patterns with others, issues with personal, professional and family relations, and your relationship with your self.
- Identify negative relational patterns
- Gain new communication tools, discover self-connection
- Set boundaries
- Bring healing to old places
- Create change you've longed for
My individual sessions are 60 or 75 minutes online with video.
If you are ready to take the next step, please contact me via email and tell me a bit about your situation. You can also text me directly at the number below. We’ll schedule a time for a free telephone consultation to explore the possibility of working together.