Welcome to The Pair Bond.
My name is Yaj. I help people with their relationships.
My main theoretical orientation is Attachment Theory.
It's a superbly reliable lens and approach for couples and individuals with relational struggles.
I would love the opportunity to be of help to you in your situation.
If a person’s connection with significant others is not part of the coping and healing process, then, inevitably, it becomes part of the problem and even a source or re-traumatization. - Susan Johnson
Transactional Consciousness in Relationship On the one hand, there’s something natural about just opening our mouths and saying something, especially when there’s someone in the room who can hear us. We open up and say something that is on our … Read More
Every couple has tension at times, arguments, and even blowout fights. However, most couples are not employing reliable instruments of conscious reflection, insight, and communication to resolve them, and to learn and grow in the process. It is simple, but … Read More
Do you ever find yourself contemplating the animal kingdom for inspiration about parenthood and instincts? Partnership and sexuality? Have you ever felt warmed by learning of a particular species’ mating-for-life habits on The Discovery Channel? And do you sometimes feel … Read More
Shame Helps Us Survive (Sometimes, If It’s the “Right” Kind, Not Too Often, and We Do the Right Thing with It)
I actually used to believe that I don’t suffer from shame. I thought it was one of those unfortunate emotional experiences that other people have, different from my own, not necessarily worse, but certainly not better. I was wrong. I … Read More
The beloved Buddhist teacher, Thich Nhat Hanh, answers a question about romantic love vs. True Love. I find it a crucial distinction. True Love, he illuminates, requires four elements: Loving Kindness Compassion Joy Inclusiveness This teaching was shared in response … Read More
Pain-Free?! Does she mean pain-free marriage? Relationship?! Is she insane? Well, that last one requires more research, but this article is ready and it’s for people who experience painful interactions in relationship, and who want relief. Period. I discovered a … Read More
Who doesn’t like a sincere compliment? Well, some people have difficulty receiving acknowledgment or recognition, and that’s a whole other blog post. But many people do enjoy healthy appreciation sent their way, and most of us need more. This isn’t … Read More
There is a lot of good happening in our relationship coming from this approach. And, frankly, the telephone counseling is a nice feature because of the convenience. No travel time for us. No childcare issues.